The Gospel of Barnabas · Chapter 86
How to Choose a True Friend
'Let thy friend be such that, even as he willeth to correct thee, so he may receive correction; and even as he willeth that thou shouldest leave all things for love of God, even so again it may content him that thou forsake him for the service of God.'
'But tell me, if a man know not how to love God how shall he know how to love himself; and how shall he know how to love others, not knowing how to love himself? Assuredly this is impossible. Therefore when thou choose thee one for friend (for verily he is supremely poor who hath no friend at all), see that thou consider first, not his fine lineage, nor his fine family, not his fine house, not his fine clothing, nor his fine person, not yet his fine words, for thou shalt be easily deceived. But look how he feareth God, how he despiseth earthly things, how he loveth good works, and above all how he hateth his own flesh, and so shalt thou easily find the true friend; if he above all things shall fear God, and shall despise the vanities of the world; if he shall be always occupied in good works, and shall hate his own body as a cruel enemy. Nor yet shalt thou love such a friend in such wise that thy love stay in him, for so shalt thou be an idolater. But love him as a gift that God hath given thee, for so shall God adorn him with greater favour. Verily I say unto you, that he who hath found a true friend hath found one of the delights of paradise; nay, such is the key of paradise.'
Thaddaeus answered: 'But if perchance a man shall have a friend who is not such as thou hast said, O master? What ought he to do? Ought he to forsake him?'
Jesus answered: 'He ought to do as the mariner doth with the ship, who saileth it so long as he perceiveth it to be profitable, but when he seeth it to be a loss forsaketh it. So shalt thou do with thy friend that is worse than thou: in those things wherein he is an offence to thee, leave him if thou wouldst not be left of the mercy of God.'
'Let your friend be someone who is as willing to receive correction as to correct you, and who, just as he wishes you to leave everything for the love of God, is content for you to leave even him in order to serve God.'
'Tell me, if a person does not know how to love God, how can he know how to love himself? And if he does not know how to love himself, how can he know how to love others? This is certainly impossible. Therefore, when choosing a friend—for truly, the person who has no friend at all is exceedingly poor—do not first consider his noble ancestry, distinguished family, fine house, elegant clothes, attractive appearance, or eloquent words, for these will easily deceive you. Instead, observe how he fears God, despises earthly things, loves good works, and above all hates his own flesh as a cruel enemy. In this way you will easily recognize a true friend: he fears God above everything, despises the vanities of the world, remains occupied in good works, and hates his own body as a cruel enemy. Yet do not love even such a friend in a way that causes your love to end in him, for then you will become an idolater. Love him instead as a gift God has given you, and God will adorn him with greater favor. Truly, I tell you that whoever has found a true friend has found one of the delights of paradise; indeed, such a friend is a key to paradise.'
Thaddaeus asked: 'But what if a person has a friend who is not as you have described, O master? What should he do? Should he abandon him?'
Jesus answered: 'He should act as a sailor does with a ship: he sails it as long as he sees that it is useful, but abandons it when he sees that it is bringing loss. You should do the same with a friend who is worse than you. In whatever matters he causes you to stumble, leave him, unless you wish to be abandoned by the mercy of God.'
'Let thy friend be such that, even as he willeth to correct thee, so he may receive correction; and even as he willeth that thou shouldest leave all things for love of God, even so again it may content him that thou forsake him for the service of God.'
'But tell me, if a man know not how to love God how shall he know how to love himself; and how shall he know how to love others, not knowing how to love himself? Assuredly this is impossible. Therefore when thou choose thee one for friend (for verily he is supremely poor who hath no friend at all), see that thou consider first, not his fine lineage, nor his fine family, not his fine house, not his fine clothing, nor his fine person, not yet his fine words, for thou shalt be easily deceived. But look how he feareth God, how he despiseth earthly things, how he loveth good works, and above all how he hateth his own flesh, and so shalt thou easily find the true friend; if he above all things shall fear God, and shall despise the vanities of the world; if he shall be always occupied in good works, and shall hate his own body as a cruel enemy. Nor yet shalt thou love such a friend in such wise that thy love stay in him, for so shalt thou be an idolater. But love him as a gift that God hath given thee, for so shall God adorn him with greater favour. Verily I say unto you, that he who hath found a true friend hath found one of the delights of paradise; nay, such is the key of paradise.'
Thaddaeus answered: 'But if perchance a man shall have a friend who is not such as thou hast said, O master? What ought he to do? Ought he to forsake him?'
Jesus answered: 'He ought to do as the mariner doth with the ship, who saileth it so long as he perceiveth it to be profitable, but when he seeth it to be a loss forsaketh it. So shalt thou do with thy friend that is worse than thou: in those things wherein he is an offence to thee, leave him if thou wouldst not be left of the mercy of God.'